33 funny coworker quotes - Wordgag

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

May 30, 2026

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

May 30, 2026

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

May 30, 2026

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

May 29, 2026

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

May 28, 2026

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

May 28, 2026

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

May 28, 2026

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

May 28, 2026

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

May 28, 2026

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

May 27, 2026

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

May 27, 2026

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

May 27, 2026

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

May 27, 2026

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

May 27, 2026

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

May 26, 2026

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

May 26, 2026

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

May 25, 2026

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

May 25, 2026

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

May 24, 2026

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

May 24, 2026

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

May 24, 2026

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

May 23, 2026

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

May 23, 2026

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

May 23, 2026

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

May 22, 2026

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

May 22, 2026

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

May 22, 2026

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

May 22, 2026

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

May 22, 2026

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

May 22, 2026

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

May 20, 2026

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

May 19, 2026

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

May 19, 2026