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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

โ€œDonโ€™t bite the hand that feeds you!โ€ Maybe just donโ€™t bite hands. Shouldnโ€™t have to qualify it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Good morning to everyone who doesnโ€™t get on my nerves.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has bookmarked:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everythingโ€ฆ it feels so goodโ€ฆ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says โ€œletโ€™s hear from someone who hasnโ€™t spoken yetโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,998

Funny Quotes Topics

14,797

Funny Quotes Images

11,998

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Instagram:

The French only eat snails because they donโ€™t like fast food.

Just landed via Facebook:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said โ€œno one is gonna believe youโ€, then took a nap.

Trending via Reddit:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes I feel like Iโ€™m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Making waves on Facebook:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Just shared via Reddit:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Youโ€™ll be fighting for your life financially and thatโ€™s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Going viral on X:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Breaking via Twitch:

I always set two alarms, one for โ€œGood Intentions Meโ€ and one for โ€œThe Real Meโ€

Spreading quickly via X:

Iโ€™ve done the math and I regret to inform you Iโ€™m your soulmate.

You’re my least favourite notification.

You’re my least favourite notification.
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Commentary:
When my phone vibrates, and I see it's you: *shakes head dramatically* ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,998

Funny Quotes Topics

14,797

Funny Quotes Images

11,998

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

When I say Iโ€™m Christmas shopping the โ€œfor myselfโ€ is silent.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Sending your selfies to NASA because youโ€™re a star.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Trending via Slack:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Making waves on Discord:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Trending via Facebook:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Live now on X:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Spotted on Instagram:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Trending via WeChat:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Going viral on Twitch:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

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