33 funny ice cream quotes - Wordgag

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

May 21, 2026

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

May 21, 2026

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

May 21, 2026

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

May 21, 2026

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

May 21, 2026

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

May 21, 2026

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

May 20, 2026

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

May 20, 2026

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

May 20, 2026

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

May 20, 2026

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

May 20, 2026

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

May 19, 2026

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Apr 1, 2026

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Mar 31, 2026

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Mar 31, 2026

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Mar 31, 2026

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Mar 31, 2026

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Mar 31, 2026

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Mar 30, 2026

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Mar 30, 2026

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Mar 29, 2026

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Mar 29, 2026

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Mar 28, 2026

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Mar 28, 2026

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Mar 28, 2026

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Mar 27, 2026

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Mar 26, 2026

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Mar 26, 2026

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Mar 25, 2026

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Mar 25, 2026

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Mar 25, 2026

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Mar 25, 2026

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Mar 25, 2026