Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.
  • Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?
  • Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.
  • “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.
  • According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.
  • Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.