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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

772 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,934

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,934

48 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Trending via Instagram:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Just shared via Messenger:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Going viral on X:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Reported on Discord:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Trending via Threads:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Making waves on Slack:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

6 months ago

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the joy of experiencing the unexpected sinus cleanse brought on by uncontrollable laughter! 🥂😂 Just imagine the stories you'd have to tell at parties after a comical beverage mishap like that. Who needs a boring, nose-drip-free life when you can have memorable moments like these instead? 😉👃

bleak, bleak life, drink, experience, funny experience, humor, joy, laugh, laughter, life, mishap, never, nose, shoot

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : Obituaries should have clickbait titles.
4 months ago
Share → : She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.
4 months ago
Share → : Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
6 months ago
Share → : The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.
2 months ago
Share → : Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?
4 months ago
Share → : They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.
6 months ago
Share → : Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI
6 months ago
Share → : I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

772 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,934

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,934

48 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Going viral on Telegram:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Spotted on Twitch:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Live now on Twitch:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Going viral on Slack:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

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