Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.
  • A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.
  • I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.
  • I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.
  • My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.
  • Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.