Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.
  • “I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?
  • If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.
  • Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?
  • Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.
  • When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”