Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.
  • When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.
  • Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.
  • I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.
  • Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.
  • Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?