Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?
  • I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.
  • I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.
  • What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.
  • Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.
  • “I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.