Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.
  • If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
  • It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.
  • I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.
  • So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.
  • First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.