Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

  • I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.
  • Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.
  • Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.
  • I only use โ€˜sirโ€™ disrespectfully.
  • My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.
  • Itโ€™s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. Thatโ€™s just watching paint thatโ€™s already dry.