Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.