Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Spotted on Facebook:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Making waves on Messenger:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Going viral on Facebook:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Seen just now on Discord:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Every email she sends is a crime against beauty! 🥺💌 #JusticeForBeauties"

beautiful, beauty, day, email, every, humor, never, send, should, social, technology, tragedy, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

0

2 months ago

attitude, casual, good, humor, know, man, music, music taste, playlist, relaxed, relaxed attitude, sounds, taste
Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

0

3 months ago

answer, contemplation, frustration, humor, new, nothing, sarcasm, sky, staring
How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, air, exist, food, fry, humor, hunger, irony, satire, world, world hunger
Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

0

2 months ago

aging, doing, doing nothing, enjoyment, getting, great, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, nothing, older, relaxation, simplicity
Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

0

2 months ago

attention, girl, guy, humor, ignoring, love, relationships
Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

0

2 months ago

activity, bike, concept, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, insane, insane concept, just, riding, run, same, sit, time, transportation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Discord this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

97 shares on Slack this month:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

32 shares on Threads this month:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Just shared via Twitch:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Trending via WeChat:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Spotted on Threads:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨