Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Just shared via Telegram:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Just shared via YouTube:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Freshly posted on Threads:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Seen just now on Discord:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

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Commentary:
When I signed up for adulthood, I didn't realize the subscription included unlimited fatigue! 😴☕️😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WeChat this month:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

38 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

19 shares on X this month:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

32 shares on X this month:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

63 shares on Discord this month:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Going bananas on Slack:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Just shared via Slack:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

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