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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Breaking via WeChat:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Just shared via Reddit:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Just landed via Threads:

Sane is boring.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Trending via X:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

2 months ago

0

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks, kindness pays off! 🌟 You never know when your good deed might lead to a VIP dip in a jacuzzi! 💦 So, spread those good vibes and keep your eyes peeled for the next potential jacuzzi owner! 🛁😄 #KindnessIsKey"

always, be kind, fun, humor, interaction, jacuzzi, kind, kindness, know, never, own, ownership, social, social interaction, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

0

2 months ago

being, body, buy, clothes, fashion, humor, i, model, new, option, shopping, think, time, too
If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

0

2 months ago

cool, cooler, encounter, family, generation, humor, kids, kind, kindness, parent, parents, teenager, wild
Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

0

3 weeks ago

game, games, gaming, having, humor, i, live, love, man, reason, reason to live, shoutout, video, video game
Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

0

2 months ago

blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, person, pick, problems, responsibility, sarcasm, stop
Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

0

2 months ago

air, airplane, am, box, craving, flying, giant, i, juice, metal, metal box, question, stay, tomato, tomato juice, weird, weird question, why
Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

0

2 months ago

alphabet, critique, educational, educational movie, humor, irony, kids, movie, movie critique, teach, v, V for Vendetta, vendetta

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Oh good. Another day.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Making waves on Slack:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Just landed via Slack:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Making waves on Pinterest:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

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