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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

331 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,924

Funny Quotes Topics

17,097

Funny Quotes Images

14,924

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,755

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Making waves on Reddit:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Just landed via Reddit:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Only in America would we add a sprinkle of confusion to water and call it science! 😄🇺🇸🌡️

American, Americans, Celsius, conversion, Fahrenheit, freeze, humor, joke, measurement, said, saw, system, temperature, unit, unit system, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

1 month ago

chaos, fire, fuel, help, here, humor, irony, just, me, mischief, sarcasm, support
Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

1 month ago

appreciation, baffling, being, decision, friend, friends, humor, me, relationships, thank, thank you
I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

5 months ago

humor, i, money, neighbor, neighbors, saved, saving, security, security system, stealing, system
Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

1 month ago

block, breakup, empowerment, ex, girl, humor, moon, relationship, sun
A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

1 month ago

A.I., AI, art, before, creativity, forced, humor, job, service, should, tables, wait
My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

1 month ago

bladder, comedy, fairytale, humor, pea, princess, storytelling

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

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Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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