Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Spotted on Discord:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Going viral on Reddit:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Just landed via Messenger:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Trending via TikTok:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Going viral on Messenger:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Trending via Messenger:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Live now on Pinterest:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Procrastination: the only thing writers do on schedule! 📚✍️😅

avoiding, being, canceling, hours, humor, management, means, plan, plans, procrastination, spending, time, time management, writer, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

0

2 months ago

cake, eat, eating, food, food humor, humor, language, playful, playful language, puns, stop, sweet, sweet treat, treat, wordplay
An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

0

2 months ago

doppelganger, everyone, humor, identical, identity, joke, look-alike, looks, orgy, parody, satire, where
I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

0

2 months ago

dating, fun, humor, marriage, marry, reason, relationship, secret, secret reason, third
The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, best, dating, freedom, fun, fun activity, independence, life, meet, pre-meet, relationship, single, single life
Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

0

2 months ago

argument, baby, communication, debate, gibberish, humor, innocence, passion, passionate, too
What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

0

2 months ago

age, decision, humor, i, mean, means, money, regret, spending, tattoo, trust, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

62 shares on X this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

91 shares on Slack this month:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Going viral on Telegram:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Making waves on X:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Just shared via Twitch:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨