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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Back to the Future and chill?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Seen just now on Facebook:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Making waves on TikTok:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess we should start rooting for those Cloudflare blips — our surprise digital superheroes! 😂🔌🌩️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

0

2 months ago

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“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

0

2 months ago

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Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

0

2 months ago

comma, commas, creativity, food, garlic, heart, humor, measure, writing
What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

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2 months ago

date, decay, existentialism, humor, irony, kiss, observation, relationship, romance, society, watching
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

0

2 months ago

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At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

activity, club, dancer, fun, fun activity, humor, me, nightlife, sighing, strip, strip club, what’s, what’s wrong, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

25 shares on X this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

91 shares on Discord this month:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

65 shares on Discord this month:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Seen just now on X:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Just shared via Discord:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨