36 funny apocalypse quotes - Wordgag

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

May 21, 2026

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

May 21, 2026

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

May 20, 2026

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

May 19, 2026

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

May 19, 2026

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

May 19, 2026

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

May 19, 2026

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

May 19, 2026

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

May 19, 2026

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Apr 1, 2026

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Apr 1, 2026

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Mar 31, 2026

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Mar 31, 2026

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Mar 31, 2026

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Mar 31, 2026

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Mar 31, 2026

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Mar 31, 2026

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Mar 30, 2026

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Mar 30, 2026

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Mar 30, 2026

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Mar 30, 2026

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Mar 30, 2026

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Mar 30, 2026

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Mar 29, 2026

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Mar 29, 2026

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Mar 28, 2026

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Mar 28, 2026

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Mar 27, 2026

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Mar 27, 2026

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Mar 25, 2026

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Mar 25, 2026

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Mar 25, 2026

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Mar 25, 2026

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Mar 24, 2026

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Mar 24, 2026