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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Spotted on Discord:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Just landed via Telegram:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Live now on Pinterest:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Shared recently on Discord:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Breaking via WeChat:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

2 months ago

0

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

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Commentary:
Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. 🗓️
Me: Stop living in the past! 🕰️😂 It's 2021, let's leave 2020 where it belongs – in history books and funny memes! 💁‍♂️🚀 #MovingForward #NewYearNewMe

back, circling, communication, conversation, coworker, December, humor, living, me, office, past, stop, thing, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

0

2 months ago

comedy, God, humor, least, longing, love, me, millionaire, please, prayer, sarcasm, someone, want, wealth, wish
When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

0

2 months ago

catching, clumsiness, competition, dropping, event, humor, me, Olympics, phone, shine, sport
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

6 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout
The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

0

2 months ago

backstory, coastal, gothic, humor, irony, lifestyle, live, seaside, seaside town, sleepy, spooky, terrifying, town, urge
I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

0

2 months ago

comedy, dramatic, frustration, humor, i, life, restart, restarting, routine, ruining, stress, want, week, work, work week
Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

0

5 months ago

Bob, Bob Ross, forest, humor, minutes, myself, paint, ross, self, self-improvement, still, unfinished, work, work on self, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Twitch this month:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

31 shares on X this month:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

100 shares on X this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Just shared via WeChat:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Going viral on Telegram:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Breaking via Messenger:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Making waves on Slack:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

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