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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has viewed:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has viewed:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has viewed:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Pinterest:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Spotted on Instagram:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Just shared via Messenger:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Seen just now on Threads:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Live now on X:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Just shared via WeChat:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, β€œDon’t text and drive.”

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, β€œDon’t text and drive.”
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Commentary:
"Guess they forgot to add 'Don't read billboards and drive' too! πŸš—πŸ’₯πŸ“±πŸ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling BeyoncΓ© about that the other day.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to β€œget those beans brewing”.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Recovering people pleasers will be like, β€œI’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has shared:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has shared:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on YouTube:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Breaking via Reddit:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Just landed via TikTok:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Going viral on Slack:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

β€œI have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Spotted on Discord:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

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