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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has viewed:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has shared:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has copied:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

And is this β€œyear-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has shared:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has downloaded:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on LinkedIn:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Spotted on Reddit:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Just landed via TikTok:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

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Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.
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Commentary:
When your date asks if you want to split the bill, just remember: trust is in the air… or is that just broken promises? πŸ€”πŸ’ΈπŸ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables β€” not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

70 shares on X this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as β€œelderly.”

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has downloaded:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has downloaded:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has shared:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has copied:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Slack:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Just shared via Discord:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Going viral on Telegram:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Spotted on Instagram:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Just landed via WeChat:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Just landed via TikTok:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Going viral on Slack:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

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