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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,942

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Seen just now on Messenger:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Live now on Snapchat:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

2 months ago

0

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, can you believe it? Some people are out there living on the edge of chaos, packing just the essentials for their trip. 🧳🧦 Who needs options when you can have simplicity, right? Maybe they're just really good at re-wearing outfits and embracing the minimalist lifestyle. 💁‍♂️👚 Next level packing skills or sheer bravery? You decide! 😄 #TravelLightAndThrillBright

away, clothing, days, funny observation, humor, know, minimalism, observation, packing, people, short, short trip, travel, trip, vacation, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

0

2 months ago

blaming, brother, family, humor, little, nobody, punching, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, son, trouble, victim, victim blaming
People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

0

2 months ago

bullet, catch, challenge, humor, joke, people, practice, skill, teeth
May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

0

2 months ago

animals, attitude, behavior, children, courtesy, exactly, humor, kindness, life, manners, patience, respect, same, sarcasm, senior, social, social behavior, store, treat
When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

0

2 months ago

doctor, experience, good, healthcare, humor, i, patient, patient experience, room, say, someone, strength, technology, waiting, waiting room, Wi-Fi, wifi
I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

0

2 months ago

accountability, actions, always, around, blame, else, humor, i, loneliness, responsibility, self-awareness, take
Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

change, ever, excited, excitement, food, humor, kid, likes, new, parenting, tomorrow, unpredictability

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

66 shares on Slack this month:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I suffer from awesomnia.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,958

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Spotted on Twitch:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Trending via Slack:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Spotted on Discord:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Spotted on Telegram:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Shared recently on Messenger:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Just shared via Threads:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

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