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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,964

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Making waves on TikTok:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Live now on TikTok:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Live now on Facebook:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Spotted on Instagram:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

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Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, can you believe it? Some people are out there living on the edge of chaos, packing just the essentials for their trip. 🧳🧦 Who needs options when you can have simplicity, right? Maybe they're just really good at re-wearing outfits and embracing the minimalist lifestyle. 💁‍♂️👚 Next level packing skills or sheer bravery? You decide! 😄 #TravelLightAndThrillBright

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

23 shares on Slack this month:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

58 shares on Slack this month:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,016

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Live now on Messenger:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Just shared via WeChat:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Going viral on Messenger:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Shared recently on X:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Spotted on Reddit:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Making waves on Slack:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

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