Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Going viral on Facebook:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Just landed via Discord:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Trending via Threads:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I'm staring into space, 99% of the time I'm planning my next bread encounter 🍞😄🥖

bread, craving, ever, food, humor, just, question, snack, thought, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

0

1 month ago

breath, humor, kiss, love, me, passion, romance, same, save, soul, trying
Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

0

2 months ago

4AM, contemplation, dad, hour, humor, i, just, kitchen, kitchen table, know, morning, morning routine, routine, sit, table, used, wake, why
Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

0

2 months ago

boss, employee, employees, hierarchy, humor, joke, last, last name, management, name, office, office joke, should, take, workplace, workplace humor
Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

0

2 months ago

baby, Christmas, gift, holiday, humor, me, mental, mental stability, Santa, stability, tree, under, wish
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

0

2 months ago

center, humor, irony, learn, people, science, self-centered, surprise, universe
So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

0

2 months ago

cat, cats, dinner, humor, loneliness, me, neighborhood, relationship, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Discord this month:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

10 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

37 shares on X this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Spotted on Discord:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Just shared via Telegram:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Going viral on Twitch:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Breaking via Telegram:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Making waves on Instagram:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨