Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Just landed via Facebook:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Spotted on Reddit:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Just landed via Messenger:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Shared recently on Messenger:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Spreading kindness online—because "Get off my lawn!" doesn't work over Wi-Fi! 😄🌐

behavior, forget, humor, internet, mean, meanness, online, online behavior, reason, sarcasm, stranger, strangers, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

0

5 months ago

email, hope, humor, i, job, message, quit, quitting, work
Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

0

2 months ago

clean, convenience, everyone, humor, just, laziness, outside, pee, toilet
I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

0

2 months ago

angry, angry coffee, asked, barista, coffee, drink, espresso, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, smaller, smaller drink, word
Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

0

5 months ago

cut, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, revenge, therapy, vengeance
Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

0

2 months ago

audio, boredom, entertainment, going, hour, humor, misunderstanding, movie, over, plane, seatmate, thanks, understanding, watching
I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

0

2 months ago

avoiding, avoiding people, comfort, comfort zone, exactly, home, humor, i, introvert, people, solitude, want, where, zone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

94 shares on Slack this month:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Going viral on Pinterest:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Making waves on YouTube:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Just landed via Facebook:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨