Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Commentary:
“Dracula, the ultimate introvert role model! 🦇💤 Who needs small talk when you can just transform into a flock of bats and peace out? 🦇✨ Maybe we could all use a little more ‘batitude’ in our social lives! 🦇😂 #IntrovertGoals”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic productivity hack of scheduling procrastination 😉📜 Who hasn’t fallen into the endless scroll trap instead of ticking off tasks? Maybe we should add ‘scrolling champion’ to our resume! 🏅 #ProductivityGoals”

  • You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the age-old conundrum of the deceptive ‘stache! 🧐 It’s like a tiny, wiggly curtain trying to hide the true face behind it. 🎭 Beware the mustache charlatans, for their upper lip abode may not be what it seems! 🕵️‍♂️👨”

  • Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

    Commentary:
    🌄☕️🍸💀

    “Good morning only to those who fancy themselves as duelists at dawn, sommeliers at dusk, and ghosts of love affairs in between. May your day be as dramatic as your lifestyle choices! 😄🎭”

  • People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the age-old mystery of why some folks ask for information on Facebook that could be found in a quick Google search 🤔 Maybe they just miss the thrill of human interaction amidst the vast sea of cat videos and memes 😆🔍 #JustGoogleIt”

  • My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

    Commentary:
    “Well, that spiderweb video was a crucial part of my phone’s memory bank for so long, but it’s time to make space for more important things like 100 more cat memes 📱🕷️🕸️ #PrioritiesShifted”

  • Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

    Commentary:
    Middle-aged math dilemma: going out for a night on the town feeling like you’re 25 again 🍹, only to wake up the next day looking and feeling like you’re pushing 70! 🤪🥴 Just another case of arithmetic not adding up in our favor! #AgeIsJustANumber