Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Just landed via TikTok:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Just shared via Discord:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect way to keep that social distance intact! 😂🧹🚗 Keep those neighbors at bay with the power of cleanliness – next up, lawn mowing the living room! 🌿🛋️ Just remember, a well-vacuumed driveway is the key to a peaceful, neighborly existence. You might just start a new trend in unconventional cleaning techniques! 💡

activity, avoidance, behavior, chore, cleaner, driveway, funny activity, humor, i, just, me, neighbors, outdoor, outdoor chore, outside, quirky, quirky behavior, run, social, social avoidance, talk, vacuum, vacuum cleaner

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

91 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

81 shares on Threads this month:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Breaking via Telegram:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

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