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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,935

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Making waves on WeChat:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Live now on Messenger:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Making waves on Facebook:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Going viral on YouTube:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Just shared via Twitch:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Going bananas on Discord:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you can just tag them yourself? 🎯💥 Let's make unfriending even more satisfying! 😂 #TaggingEnemies"

enemy, forget, friends, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media, tag, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Windmill? Big fan.

1 month ago
big, fan, humor, joke, pun, windmill, wordplay
Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

1 month ago
character, choices, food, humor, i, irony, pizza, say, slice, someone, something, sometimes, trust, unexpected
I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

1 month ago
dance, expression, farewell, fun, good, good riddance, humor, i, put, riddance
Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

2 months ago
ask, computer, good, humor, i, life, morning, multitasking, nice, office, office life, open, procrastination, question, tab, tabs, weekend, work, work tab
Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

2 weeks ago
casual, false, false god, God, humor, invitation, later, man, pull, slang, worship
Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

3 months ago
bad, bad mood, caught, clothes, coincidence, door, door handle, everyday, everyday life, frustration, handle, humor, life, mishap, mood, only, why

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Shared recently on X:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Breaking via Twitch:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Seen just now on Threads:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Windmill? Big fan.

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

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Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Windmill? Big fan.

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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