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Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Making waves on Snapchat:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Just landed via Telegram:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

4 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny text about social media humor, expressing playful desire to tag enemies instead of friends.

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Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you can just tag them yourself? 🎯💥 Let's make unfriending even more satisfying! 😂 #TaggingEnemies"

enemy, forget, friends, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media, tag, want

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22 shares on WeChat this month:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

92 shares on X this month:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

42 shares on Slack this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

36 shares on X this month:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

42 shares on X this month:

I love when the plot thickens.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Going viral on Slack:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Seen just now on X:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Just shared via Slack:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Going viral on Discord:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

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Activity Log ✨

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

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