Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.