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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Live now on X:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Making waves on Slack:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Trending via Reddit:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Spotted on Facebook:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Seen just now on X:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Making waves on Slack:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

82 Funny attraction quotes

Funny attraction quotes 😂 are your go-to source for a good laugh while navigating the wild world of romance ❤️. Whether you’re looking to spice up your dating profile or lighten the mood with your crush, these witty one-liners and clever observations about love are sure to entertain 🎉. Perfect for sharing, they bring a playful twist to the ups and downs of attraction, leaving everyone smiling along the way 😄.

New funny attraction quotes 👇

For even more funny attraction quotes, hit next 👇

All funny attraction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

30 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

88 shares on X this month:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather lose you than the argument.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Spotted on X:

The void screams into me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Freshly posted on X:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Just shared via WeChat:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

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