I let my girl wear whatever because youβre staring, and Iβm hittinβ that. Posted onApr 1, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Eye candy for you, buffet for me! ππ¬ Related funny posts π€ Iβm not gaining weight, Iβm retaining candy. Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?” At my size, Iβd be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer. Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane? Explain it to me like Iβm five then do it for me like Iβm one hundred.