Funny quotes body

118 Funny body quotes

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Funny Quotes Mar 6, 2025

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Funny Quotes Feb 18, 2025

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025