Funny quotes body

121 Funny body quotes

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

4 days ago

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

1 week ago

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

2 weeks ago

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

1 month ago

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

1 month ago

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

1 month ago

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

1 month ago

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

1 month ago

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

1 month ago

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

1 month ago

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

1 month ago

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

1 month ago

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

1 month ago

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

1 month ago

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

1 month ago

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

1 month ago

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

2 months ago

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

2 months ago

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

2 months ago

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

2 months ago

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

2 months ago

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

2 months ago

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

2 months ago

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

2 months ago

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

2 months ago

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

2 months ago

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

2 months ago

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

2 months ago

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

3 months ago

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

3 months ago