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New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Mar 21, 2026

 

 

 

 

212 Funny body quotes

Funny body quotes highlight the quirks, surprises, and hilarious realities of living in a human suit! 😄💪 Whether it’s mysterious aches, loud stomach growls in quiet rooms, or your body deciding to nap at the worst times, these quotes remind us that our bodies might not be perfect — but they sure are entertaining. Get ready to laugh from head to toe! 😂🦵🧠

My only issue with Ozempic is that some of y’all are taking it before considering the fact that you have a naturally large head.

Posted onMar 4, 2026Mar 4, 2026

When you get to a certain age, your body becomes so disrespectful.

Posted onMar 4, 2026Mar 4, 2026

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026Feb 1, 2026

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026Feb 1, 2026

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