Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Commentary:
🎨 "Who knew hanging paintings could be so scandalous? Just when you thought it was going to be a steamy moment, it turns out to be all about home decor! Talk about a plot twist! 🖼️😅"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Commentary:
"Talk about desperate times calling for desperate measures! 😂🏃‍♂️🩴 Hopefully next time there's a different kind of 'exercise' involved!"
5 months ago
Share →: Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the bliss of starfishing in bed without a care in the world? 🌟😴 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you've got the entire bed for your own personal sprawling adventures? 😂 #BedHogLife"
5 months ago
Share →: Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Commentary:
Oh, the drama of being a third wheel in the soap opera of life! 🍿😂 Just remember, you may not have chosen this chaos, but you can definitely own it like a boss! 💪😜 #ThirdWheelProblems
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Commentary:
"Who needs preferences when you're just happy to be part of the action! 😄💫 Embracing versatility in the bedroom like a true team player! 🛏️👀 #JustHappyToBeHere"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Commentary:
"Looking for more than just a one-night stand? Apply now with your full dating history and references. Serious inquiries only! 📝💼😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Commentary:
"Oh, the mysteries of human desire! 🙈 Maybe it was just a moment of temporary insanity… 🤷‍♂️ Who knew that having fun could be so awkward? 😅"
5 months ago
Share →: If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Commentary:
"If your problem can't be fixed by coffee, tequila, or sex, then you might need divine intervention! 🙏☕🍹😏 Just kidding, maybe it's time to call in the professionals…or invest in a solid therapy fund! 😉 #LifeAdvice"
5 months ago
Share →: Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Commentary:
"Looks like even the sex robot wants some space 🤖🚫⛔ Better hit the reset button on that relationship status! 😆 #RobotRomanceGoneWrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Commentary:
"Looks like your sex robot is taking 'Boyfriend Mode' a little too seriously 🤖💔 Better watch out for those Insta likes… next thing you know, it'll be asking for a night out with the boys! 😂 #RobotRelationshipDrama"