112 funny sex quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag ツ

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Jan 21, 2026

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Jan 20, 2026

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Jan 20, 2026

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Jan 20, 2026

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Jan 20, 2026

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Jan 20, 2026

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Jan 20, 2026

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Jan 20, 2026

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Jan 20, 2026

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Jan 20, 2026

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Jan 20, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Jan 20, 2026

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Jan 20, 2026

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Jan 20, 2026

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Jan 20, 2026

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Jan 20, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Jan 19, 2026

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Jan 19, 2026

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Jan 19, 2026

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Jan 19, 2026

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Jan 19, 2026

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Jan 19, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Jan 19, 2026

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Jan 19, 2026

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Jan 19, 2026

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Jan 19, 2026

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Jan 19, 2026

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Jan 19, 2026

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Jan 19, 2026

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Jan 18, 2026

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Jan 18, 2026

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Jan 18, 2026