112 funny sex quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

May 27, 2026

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

May 27, 2026

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

May 27, 2026

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

May 26, 2026

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

May 26, 2026

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

May 26, 2026

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

May 26, 2026

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

May 26, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

May 26, 2026

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

May 26, 2026

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

May 26, 2026

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

May 26, 2026

I have the sex drive of a potato.

May 26, 2026

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

May 26, 2026

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

May 25, 2026

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

May 25, 2026

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

May 25, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

May 25, 2026

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

May 25, 2026

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

May 25, 2026

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

May 25, 2026

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

May 25, 2026

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

May 25, 2026

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

May 24, 2026

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

May 24, 2026

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

May 24, 2026

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

May 24, 2026

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

May 24, 2026

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

May 24, 2026

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

May 24, 2026

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

May 23, 2026

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

May 23, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

May 23, 2026

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

May 23, 2026

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

May 23, 2026

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

May 22, 2026

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

May 22, 2026

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

May 22, 2026

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

May 22, 2026

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

May 22, 2026