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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Going viral on Pinterest:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Spotted on Pinterest:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Making waves on Messenger:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Going viral on X:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Breaking via Messenger:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Going viral on Pinterest:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Finding out it wasn’t your fault at work feels like discovering a hidden chocolate stash when you thought you were on a diet 🍫😆🎉

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

2 months ago

afterlife, audition, Earth, heaven, hell, humor, philosophy
Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

2 months ago

am, annoying, attitude, humor, i, just, permanence, personality, self-awareness, super, worry, yes
I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

1 month ago

2010, exercise, fitness, good, humor, i, procrastination, year’s
It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

4 weeks ago

every, humor, minutes, Monday, procrastination, routine, stress, time, week, work
Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

2 months ago

5, five, five years, funny response, good, good listener, humor, interview, interview question, interviewer, job, job interview, job interviewer, listener, me, question, response, strength, time, where, year’s, yourself
If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

1 month ago

bedtime, child, cost, cost effective, effective, endless, endless energy, energy, humor, i, parenting, supply, tired

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Making waves on TikTok:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Making waves on WeChat:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

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Activity Log ✨

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

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I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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