Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Going viral on Messenger:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Spotted on Discord:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Seen just now on Slack:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Spotted on Threads:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Making waves on Messenger:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

2 months ago

0

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Pizza slices mysteriously disappear one by one! 🍕😂 Looks like an intense pizza consumption challenge is in progress! Will they reach Slice Number 5 and rewrite the record books? Stay tuned for more cheesy updates! 🧀📺"

bad, bad news, eating, food, good, good news, humor, i, news, pizza, repetition, slice, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

0

2 months ago

butt, Facebook, humor, i, kiss, me, media, power, relationship, restricted, social, social media, unfriended
If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

0

2 months ago

balance, humor, humorous, ID, job, me, money, nap, procrastination, professional, relaxation, sleep, whole, work life, work-life balance
Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, ghost, haunted, humor, local, reason, woods
I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

0

2 months ago

always, buy, contradiction, expensive, humor, i, irony, say, shopping, spending
The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

0

5 months ago

actually, alone, behavior, connection, ever, feel, human, human behavior, irony, isolation, loneliness, making, media, people, relationships, social, social media, trick
My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

0

2 months ago

adjustment, boyfriend, hotel, Hotel Mama, humor, living, living together, mama, me, moved, parent, relationship, responsibility, single, single parent, straight, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Spotted on WeChat:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Making waves on Slack:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Trending via TikTok:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Going viral on Slack:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Trending via Pinterest:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴