Commentary:
Guess I better start Googling 'how to be forever young' while I still remember how to use technology! 😅🕰️💻
Funny bad news quotes
“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.
Commentary:
Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge
I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.
Commentary:
Felt like an extra in a 19th-century drama, just missing the cameo brooch and dramatic sigh 😂🦴☕
A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.
Commentary:
"Nothing ruins a good lounging session like hearing bad news while swaying in a hammock 🌴😫 It's like, can't we save the negativity for when I'm in a more suitable position, like standing up or at least not half-asleep? 😂 #HammockHorror"
I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.
Commentary:
"Well, if you were told the ice cream machine was broken at McDonald's, you might want to take that as a compliment in disguise! Who knew getting denied ice cream could be a subtle flattery? 🍦😂 #IceCreamDiscrimination"
Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.
Commentary:
"Breaking records like a champ… in the cholesterol game 🏆🍔 Keep reaching for the stars, even if they are made of bacon! 🌟🥓"
The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.
Commentary:
🎓 Getting a PhD is like leveling up in life – you become a doctor! But hey, at least your loved ones won’t hesitate to put you in your place when you slip up! It’s all in good fun, right? 😂 #PhDProblems #DoctorDrama
Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.
Commentary:
"Breaking news: Pizza slices mysteriously disappear one by one! 🍕😂 Looks like an intense pizza consumption challenge is in progress! Will they reach Slice Number 5 and rewrite the record books? Stay tuned for more cheesy updates! 🧀📺"
The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.
Commentary:
Looks like your phone is determined to make those 🛫 turbulent moments work FOR you! Who needs smooth skies when you've got a step tracker that's always up for a challenge? 😂✈️ #TurningTurbulenceIntoSteps
The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.
Commentary:
Who knew spaghetti was so fashion-forward? 🍝👕 #NewTrends