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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Trending via WeChat:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Making waves on Instagram:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Spotted on Pinterest:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I disagree with my politics.

Going viral on Reddit:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

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Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.
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Commentary:
"Guess it's time to update the resume to include 'Professional Office Gymnast' 😂🏃‍♂️🦋 #ZoomiesUnleashed"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Spotted on WeChat:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Spotted on Threads:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Live now on Reddit:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

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