Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.