Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Spotted on X:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Just landed via WeChat:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Going viral on Discord:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Trending via Threads:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Shared recently on Discord:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Live now on Pinterest:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sliding into your newsfeed like a ninja with nothing but good vibes and a bad sense of direction 😂🤷‍♂️📩

appear, attention, communication, humor, i, just, media, newsfeed, nothing, say, silence, social, social media, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

2 months ago

always, business, context, dream, dreams, getting, having, just, point, sex, sex dream, wake, wake up
If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

2 months ago

food, fridge, humor, late, light, logic, night, snacking
Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

2 months ago

birth, control, Crocs, fashion, fashion joke, footwear, free, humor, humor joke, joke, male, male birth control, socks
After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

2 months ago

activity, after, cooking, dishwashing, drunk, host, humor, kind, same, show
The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

4 months ago

best, describe, feeling, feels, humor, Monday, say, time, year
The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

2 months ago

delivery, everyone, expectation, humor, interaction, joke, pizza, right, say, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

39 shares on Slack this month:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

80 shares on Telegram this month:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

94 shares on X this month:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Trending via Messenger:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Making waves on Reddit:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Trending via Reddit:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Going bananas on Twitch:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨