Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a mortician glam squad🧟‍♀️💄? Talk about waking up looking drop dead gorgeous💀💅! Keeping it killer even in your dreams!😜"

death, hiring, humor, i, irony, joke, makeup, mortician, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

2 weeks ago

early, flirting, forecast, humor, i, ID, joke, leak, man, pretty, pretty woman, weather, woman, women
More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

2 weeks ago

boat, creativity, culinary, food, fun, gravy, humor, should
Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

2 weeks ago

ad, ads, away, click, humor, irony, nothing, size, x
Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

5 days ago

bull, caffeine, digestion, drink, energy, energy drink, gas, give, humor, joke, me, punchline, red, Red Bull, wings
Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

3 weeks ago

account, bank, bank account, cash, character, close, finance, game, hedgehog, humor, keep, me, money, saving, sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog, video, video game character
Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

6 days ago

attitude, care, cat, cats, everything, hear, hearing, humor, indifference, just, pet

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Messenger this month:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Trending via Facebook:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Making waves on Twitch:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Going viral on X:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Just shared via WeChat:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨