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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

Welcome to your 40sโ€”you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

WFH is so great until you realize youโ€™ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,001

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Messenger:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Making waves on X:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Just landed via WeChat:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Just landed via WeChat:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If I block you and you email me, youโ€™re getting another chance.

Going viral on X:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Career? Never heard of her. Iโ€™m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Shared recently on Slack:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

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Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.
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Commentary:
"Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a mortician glam squad๐ŸงŸโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’„? Talk about waking up looking drop dead gorgeous๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’…! Keeping it killer even in your dreams!๐Ÿ˜œ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

43 shares on Discord this month:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

37 shares on Threads this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

65 shares on Threads this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why canโ€™t it get us out?

42 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The worst is when itโ€™s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isnโ€™t. Except this one.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,859

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isnโ€™t that dirty after all.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

โ€œIโ€™m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Spotted on Discord:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Shared recently on Messenger:

โ€œAre you dating anyone?โ€ I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Spotted on WeChat:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I donโ€™t have to talk to them.

Spotted on Slack:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Donโ€™t worry, Iโ€™m only dead inside from the waist up.

Just landed via TikTok:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Cars should have two horns, one for โ€œexcuse me, kind friend,โ€ and another for โ€œcurse you and your family for generations.โ€

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Donโ€™t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Seen just now on Discord:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

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