Commentary:
If the Vatican can do it in 48 hours, why does my job hunt feel like a season of Survivor? 🤔⏳🗳️
12 Funny hiring quotes
Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.
Commentary:
Job applications would be so much easier if you could just "buy one, get one free" with your bestie! 🛍️👯♀️💼
I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.
Commentary:
When they ask me about my skills, I just tell them I’m fluent in sarcasm and can nap with unmatched diligence 😂💼 #HiredYet?
Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.
Commentary:
When multitasking becomes a superpower, but nobody gets the cape. 🦸♂️🦸♀️💸
If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.
Commentary:
Guess I’ll need to bring my juggling skills to the office! 🤹♂️📈😅
They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.
Commentary:
"Is there an app for instant approvals yet? Asking for a friend… and their resume. 🤔🧑💻📄"
Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.
Commentary:
"Lesson learned: never cut corners when it comes to hitmen. 💸💥 Better to invest in quality work and avoid those budget-friendly deals! 😅 #HitmanFail"
Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.
Commentary:
"Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a mortician glam squad🧟♀️💄? Talk about waking up looking drop dead gorgeous💀💅! Keeping it killer even in your dreams!😜"
If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.
Commentary:
"Reading between the lines of a 'Come grow with us' sign: Get ready to sprout some extra arms and legs, because you're in for a multi-tasking marathon! 🌱💼🏃♂️ #TeamOfOne"
Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.
Commentary:
Guess I should have hired a budget-priest instead! 🙃💰✂️