Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Trending via YouTube:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Trending via Reddit:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Trending via Threads:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Freshly posted on Discord:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Spotted on Discord:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

0
Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life hands you a meteor, give birth to a T-Rex! 🦖💨😂"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

81 shares on Threads this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

64 shares on WeChat this month:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

82 shares on Facebook this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like you because we hate the same people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,589

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Just shared via X:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Just shared via Instagram:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Going bananas on Reddit:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴