Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looking to have the quickest Thanksgiving cleanup ever? Just casually mention politics and watch your guests bolt out the door faster than you can say 'pumpkin pie'! 🏃‍♂️🥧🦃 #ExitStrategy"

awkward, awkward conversation, bring, conversation, departure, dinner, early, early departure, everyone, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, hosting, humor, leave, politics, Thanksgiving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

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2 months ago

believe, cauliflower, food, i, love, people, realization, say, surprise, taste, vegetable, why
I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

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2 months ago

humor, i, irony, moon, phone, photograph, respect, unwillingness
One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

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2 months ago

activity, adventure, camping, family, family activity, fun, humor, kid, kids, looks, movie, outdoor, revenant, The Revenant, watching
If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

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2 months ago

able, forgetfulness, humor, joke, memory, own, party, plan, sarcasm, surprise, surprise party, worse
Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

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3 weeks ago

communication, everyone, humor, little, relationship, sarcasm, silent, silent treatment, treatment, weekend
Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

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2 months ago

brain, closing, eye, flash, humor, just, last, last time, life, tab, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Twitch this month:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

55 shares on Threads this month:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

33 shares on X this month:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Just shared via YouTube:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Seen just now on Twitch:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Just shared via Telegram:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨