Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Trending via Facebook:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Going viral on Twitch:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Just landed via Telegram:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Making waves on Twitch:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you’re hotter than your follower count 🔥📉 #ExclusiveClub"

20, account, exclusivity, followers, girl, girls, hot, hot girl, humor, Instagram, media, private, private account, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

0

3 months ago

am, anger, emotion, full, humor, i, lamp, lava, lava lamp, love, metaphor
Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

0

2 months ago

again, blink, calendar, every, frustration, humor, i, live, loop, Monday, monotony, repetition, routine, time, time loop, weekly, weekly routine
Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

0

2 months ago

calling, coworkers, day, drugstore, fired, first day, humor, joke, new, pharmily, pun, working, workplace
Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, elbow, face, going, humor, hygiene, relatable, routine, sickening, washing, washing face, water
I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

0

2 months ago

age, fool, gentler, i, kinder, pity
Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

0

2 months ago

confrontation, driving, feel, frustration, highway, humor, let, me, merge, power, powerful, traffic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

74 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

12 shares on TikTok this month:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Spotted on Slack:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Seen just now on Reddit:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Making waves on Messenger:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Seen just now on Discord:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨