Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,236

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Trending via Slack:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Freshly posted on X:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Making waves on TikTok:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Just shared via Slack:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Just shared via Twitch:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Going viral on Discord:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I'm officially top dog in the shampoo department! 🐶✨ #FurRealFeeling"

accidentally, dog, dogs, feeling, girl, good, grooming, humor, i, lighthearted, pet, playful, self-deprecating, shampoo, today, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

0

2 months ago

communication, education, first grade, grade, handwriting, kid, kids, note, parenting, stress, teacher
Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

0

2 months ago

dedication, dog, dogs, everyone, extravagance, extravagant, hard, humor, lifestyle, pet, shoutout, support, work, works
All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

0

2 months ago

danger, edible, food, humor, joke, mushroom, once
The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

0

2 months ago

back, borrowing, city, debt, finance, having, humor, money, move, new, new city, pay, payback, relocation, worst
I hope this email finds you in a well.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, finds, hope, humor, i, well, workplace
Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

0

3 weeks ago

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Threads this month:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

33 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

72 shares on Discord this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Spotted on Twitch:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Going viral on TikTok:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Making waves on Threads:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Making waves on TikTok:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Trending via Snapchat:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨