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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Just shared via Messenger:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Just shared via Reddit:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Just shared via Instagram:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about a grown adult analyzing Paw Patrol's plot holes with humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the grown-up pastime of scrutinizing a cartoon about a group of heroic pups with more plot twists than a soap opera 🐾📺 Who needs reality TV when you have the mystery of how Mayor Goodway always loses her pet chicken on Paw Patrol? 🐔🤔 #AdultingGoals"

adult, am, cartoons, childhood, discussion, full, hole, humor, i, listen, me, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, plot, plot hole

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

88 shares on Slack this month:

47 shares on Twitch this month:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

65 shares on Slack this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

56 shares on X this month:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Making waves on Messenger:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Breaking via Snapchat:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Trending via Pinterest:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Just landed via YouTube:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Just landed via X:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

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