I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes. Posted onMar 30, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Sounds like your kid graduated from the School of Slow Shoelace Tying! 🐢👟😄 Related funny posts 🤝 I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here. Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem. The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages. I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.