I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

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Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

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Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

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Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

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Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

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No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

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Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

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My first mistake of my life was my birth.