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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Trending via Pinterest:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Breaking via Facebook:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

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I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
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Commentary:
When it comes to summer dresses, I'm like a squirrel with nuts—always ready for more! 🌞👗🐿️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

81 shares on X this month:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Live now on TikTok:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Making waves on X:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Going viral on Facebook:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Spotted on Messenger:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Just landed via Snapchat:

May the algorithms be with you.

Going viral on Reddit:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

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