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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s β€œpiqued” your interest, not β€œpeaked”.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has viewed:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has copied:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has copied:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has downloaded:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on TikTok:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Just shared via Threads:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Making waves on Slack:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Shared recently on Threads:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Live now on Telegram:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Just landed via YouTube:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when you've got your high school earrings to transport you back to the glory days πŸ•°οΈπŸ’β€β™€οΈ Talk about vintage chic! Just remember, trends may come and go, but apparently, earring size remains eternal πŸ˜‚πŸ’Ž #TimelessFashion"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on YouTube this month:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Metallica’s β€œNothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

64 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has shared:

It used be called β€œtalking to yourself” but the new term for it is β€œpodcasting”.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has viewed:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has viewed:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has copied:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has viewed:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on YouTube:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Going bananas on Threads:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Just landed via Messenger:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Seen just now on X:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

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