Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Going bananas on Discord:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Seen just now on Reddit:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

2 hours ago

Witty quote about nostalgia and growing up, with a playful, humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when you've got your high school earrings to transport you back to the glory days 🕰️💁‍♀️ Talk about vintage chic! Just remember, trends may come and go, but apparently, earring size remains eternal 😂💎 #TimelessFashion"

brag, confidence, earrings, fit, high, high school, humor, i, nostalgia, school, self-deprecation, still, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Threads this month:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

96 shares on X this month:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Going bananas on Slack:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Trending via Threads:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Going viral on YouTube:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Trending via X:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Spotted on YouTube:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

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