Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,987

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Live now on Slack:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Going viral on Snapchat:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Going viral on Facebook:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Making waves on WeChat:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Spotted on Facebook:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

2 months ago

0

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when you've got your high school earrings to transport you back to the glory days 🕰️💁‍♀️ Talk about vintage chic! Just remember, trends may come and go, but apparently, earring size remains eternal 😂💎 #TimelessFashion"

brag, confidence, earrings, fit, high, high school, humor, i, nostalgia, school, self-deprecation, still, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

0

2 months ago

crowded, humor, irony, joke, nobody, place, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation
Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

0

2 months ago

columns, confusion, data, difference, frustration, geek, geek humor, hate, humor, i, man, math, me, much, nothing, office, office humor, rows, tables
Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, cold, drink, help, hope, humor, i, lemon, lemons, me, remedy, tequila, winter
When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

0

2 months ago

carbs, childhood, diet, eat, food, humor, i, kid, noodles, only, pasta, point, still, today
I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

0

2 months ago

away, food, humor, i, joke, leftover, old, think, throw, waste
Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

0

4 weeks ago

attack, bolt, dinner, dinner table, family, family dinner, funny attack, holiday, holiday meal, lightning, lightning bolt, meal, table, Thanksgiving, uncle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

40 shares on X this month:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

61 shares on Threads this month:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Trending via Facebook:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Trending via Facebook:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Live now on Discord:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴