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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,828

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Going viral on Slack:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Going viral on X:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Starting my day at 4 p.m. really shows how angelic I am 😇✨ #BlessedProcrastinator #LivingMyBestLife

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

2 months ago

address, arrif, email, frustration, hell, joke, never, technology, verify, wait
Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

1 month ago

away, button, dog, explode, explosion, got, hell, humor, i, joke, just, microchip, pet, press, runs, technology
Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

1 month ago

connection, contact, distraction, essential, eye, eye contact, finding, humor, meetings, person, strategy, stupid, survival, workplace
Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

5 months ago

baby, determination, face, grab, humor, just, literally, mischief, parenting, step, toddler, want
Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

1 month ago

activity, asleep, eat, eating, humor, loss, napping, relaxation, sleep, weight, weight loss
After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

1 month ago

activity, after, cooking, dishwashing, drunk, host, humor, kind, same, show

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Live now on Threads:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Trending via TikTok:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Spotted on Messenger:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Spotted on Twitch:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Going viral on Threads:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

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Activity Log ✨

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

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I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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